Troubled Teens Resources

When teen crisis intervention methods are based on the latest pop psychology as opposed to just plain common sense, disastrous results can occur. Such could be said for the pop wisdom that advocates protecting a teen’s so-called self-esteem at all costs. Susan Carney at Suite101 delineates the two opposing camps that have circled this issue and makes a clear case for plain common sense.

Common sense recognizes that self-esteem is the natural outgrowth of accomplishment. Of achieving a high mark. Of winning the race. Self-esteem is a natural process that is grounded in reality. Proponents of “feel good” self-esteem fail to realize that teens can detect empty praise as soon as it is given. Teen help that is premised on a fiction is, at best, counter-productive.

” Many self-esteem “programs” advocate encouraging kids to feel positive about themselves based on little more than the empty words. Platitudes such as “You’re special!” and “You’re great just as you are!” attempt to build up kid’s egos without the expectation of any self-improvement or growth. Without ties to any real accomplishment, the praise is hollow, and kids know it. Further damage is done when kids internalize that message to mean, “if they tell me I’m wonderful and I haven’t even done anything, maybe that means they don’t think I CAN do anything.” Or worse, “if I’m already great, why should I try something I might not be able to do and risk looking incompetent?” Far from inspiring capability, this line of thinking actually encourages helplessness.”

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