Troubled Teens Resources

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, as the saying goes. Most parents would agree that the best teen crisis intervention there is, is prevention. But how?

It’s the little things. The extra moments spent with them before bedtime. Closing your brief case and opening up a conversation. The small assurances of love, support, and affirmation. Taking time. Loving them minute by minute. Caring enough to instruct and discipline.

A guest blogger at DeWitt on Parenting gather the collected wisdom of several mother that she knows and I’ll reprint it below.

It’s a great round-up of advice and it is all the little things that parents may forget to do or think too unimportant to matter.

But love, discipline and time together will remain the best interventions a parent can devise. Enough of it can help steady your teenager through the tumultuous years of adolescence.

• When you say goodnight to your child, linger for a moment before walking out of his/her bedroom; you’ll be amazed at what your child will share with you right before bedtime.
• At dinnertime, turn off the TV, put down the cell phone, shut off the computer and talk with your children. Show them you care about what they have to say.
• Give your children chores/responsibilities and let them do it their own way; don’t go behind them and “fix” things or you’ll make your children feel as if they are never good enough.
• Never ask your child to be the messenger between you and your ex-spouse; it can make a child feel uncomfortable and disloyal. Pick up the phone or email your ex-spouse yourself.
• Support your child’s natural talents and abilities; don’t try to fit a square peg in a round hole or to re-live your childhood dreams through your child.
• Set realistic boundaries and consequences and stick to them. It’s okay if your child gets mad at you! Your child will have plenty of friends, but only one set of parents.
• When you make a mistake, admit you were wrong and apologize. Your children don’t need to think you are perfect or infallible.
• Keep telling your children your thoughts, values and advice – your opinions have more of an impact than you think, for a lot longer than you think.
• Tell your children they can call you anytime they are in trouble – and mean it.
• No matter what you are doing … if your child says he/she wants to talk, stop everything and listen.
• The best way to teach your child honesty, kindness, fairness, work ethic, and any quality you value is by example.
• Have more faith that your kids will grow up to be just fine.

from Dewitt on Parenting