Troubled Teens Resources

The typical teen of today is being bombarded from every direction.  They are under pressure to perform academically, to complete responsibilities at home, to compete athletically, and the list goes on.  It is not a widely known fact that the teen of today is more up to date on current events than generations past.  Today’s teen is aware of global problems and conflicts, the economic devastation, and the political separation that our county is currently working through.  When you add the typical teen issues to the increased information that today’s teen is receiving it is no wonder today’s teen finally reaches a boiling point.   

The teen implosion can manifest itself in many ways.  Some teens will become withdrawn and possibly work themselves into a full blown depression.  Some teens will begin to look for ways to relieve some of the pressure they are experiencing through drug abuse.  Very few will seek out a parent for help and advice.  The most frequent form of help sought by a teen comes in the way of advice from their peers.  If a teen asks a friend that is abusing drugs for advice the advice they give will obviously be to try some drugs.  The teen may begin to experiment in sexual activities.  The best advice and help is obviously the teen’s parents but if the parent does not have a close relationship with their teen they will never come to them with their problems.  It is important that a parent is vigilante to their teens changes in attitudes and moods. 

Even a good teen left unassisted will begin the downward spiral until they earn the label of troubled teen.  The troubled teen may not have a Mohawk or any visible signs of rebellion.  It is usually not until the troubled teen has hit rock bottom and is basically crying out for attention that they will begin to display extreme hair and clothing styles.   One warning signal for parents for a child that is moving in a negative direction is their choice of friends.  If you observe that your teen is hanging with kids with radical hair styles or clothing choices, it is usually only a matter of time until your child begins to dress and act like the peers he is “hanging out” with.  It is naïve to think that a teen is associating with a group of troubled teens and not engaging in the same activities the negative peers are engaging in.

The more you read about troubled teens and the tumultuous world that they live in, the more you realize how critical their early years are. It seems that if you don’t start growing a teen right from the very start, the deep relationship and the mutual respect that parents and teens need to weather adolescence never is established.

A teen can, for all the world, seem stable and yet, make a misstep that plummets them down a disastrous path. Some parents spend their entire savings trying to get that teen back. Expensive rehabs, schools for troubled teens, psychotherapy and medication. And sometimes, no matter what the parents have done, the teen is lost.The ultimate fate of a teenager lies in their own hands, as much as parents would like to believe otherwise.

“When Cook learned that her teen daughter, Kayla, was abusing drugs, she went into overdrive. She and Kayla’s father shelled out $33,000 for nine months in a drug treatment program in Hamilton County. After that, Kayla stayed clean for a couple of months late last year. But the allure of drugs was too strong.

On the night of May 13, Kayla went to hang out with friends, and ended up with multiple drugs coursing through her veins. The 18-year-old girl lapsed into a coma. Three days later, she died…

Later that month, her classmates at Lebanon High School graduated without her.

Teen drug abuse deaths are rarely publicized, Cook said. “The parents and families are embarrassed. They don’t want anyone to know their kid died from a drug overdose. I’m embarrassed that mine did.”

(source)

Teen age drug abuse sometimes seems to come as quite a surprise to many parents. And indeed, the troubled teen is very skilled at keeping it that way. I have talked to former drug users who were amazed that when they came home high that their parents failed to see anything off or odd about their behavior.

“You’d think they’d at least notice that I started wearing cologne. I kept waiting for them to demand to see if my eyes were dilated or at least search my room. I know it’s not true but at the time I figured they knew and didn’t care.”

Jeff speaks for many teens. Even if you trust your kids, do not trust to fate. One bad quarter at school, one broken romance and your teen can become vulnerable to the ever present temptation to smoke a joint and forget it all.

Do you know what to look for? Here is a list of 34 signs that your teen might be abusing drugs. Care enough to look.

1. Neglected appearance/hygiene
2. Poor self image
3. Grades dropping
4. Violent outbursts at home
5. Frequent use of Eye Wash
6. Unexplained weight drop
7. Drug Paraphernalia
8. Slurred speech
9. Curfew violations
10. Running away
11. Skin abrasions
12. Hostility towards family members
13. Chemical breath
14. Glassy eyes
15. Red eyes
16. Valuables Missing
17. Possessing unexplained valuables
18. Stealing/borrowing money
19. Change in friends
20. Depression
21. Withdrawal
22. Apathy
23. Reckless Behavior
24. No Concern about future
25. Defiles Family Values
26. Disrespectful to parents
27. Lying/Deception
28. Sneaky behavior
29. Disregards Consequences
30. Loss of Interest in healthy activities
31. Verbally abusive
32. Manipulative/Self-Centered
33. Lack of Motivation
34. Truancy

(Source)

It is often the case that a teen abusing drugs also suffers from emotional problems,but,not always. Sometimes teenage drug abuse may be the result of peer pressure or simple rebellion. Yes, that would indicate that the troubled teen lacked a sense of self sufficient to resist pressure but it doesn’t necessarily indicate emotional or psychological problems.

Addict or Rebel

Aaron and Justin were busted smoking a joint on school property.

“I was just mad,. I didn’t even really like the feeling pot gives me but my folks are pissing me off so , who cares.”

This from young Aaron who used drugs, not to escape a painful reality, but as an act of rebellion. Young Aaron has some maturity problems but he is emotionally healthy and not at high risk for teenage drug abuse.

Justin on the other hand has been using pot for over a year and was beginning to play with ecstasy. Justin was rebellious as well as angry. A quiet boy with few friends and an abusive father,he fell into a different category than Aaron and was at high risk for a long run at addiction.

How can a parent determine if a teen is simply rebelling or has started using drugs because of underlying psychological problems?

Categories of Substance abuse

Here are three categories of substance abuse that give you a range of severity.

Use: The occasional use of alcohol or other drugs without developing tolerance or withdrawal symptoms when not in use.

Abuse: The continued use of alcohol or other drugs even while knowing that the continued use is creating problems socially, physically, or psychologically.

Dependence: At least three of the following factors must be present:

• a. Substance is taken in larger amounts or over longer periods of time than the person intended.
• b. A persistent desire with unsuccessful efforts to
• control the use.
• c. Large periods of time spent obtaining, taking, or recovering from, the substance.
• d. Frequent periods of intoxication or detoxification especially when social and major role obligations are expected (school, social situations, etc.)
• e. Continued use even while knowing that the continued use is creating problems socially, physically, and/or psychologically.
• f. Increased tolerance
• g. Withdrawal symptoms
• h. Substance taken to relieve withdrawal symptoms.

(Source)

Parents seeking support for their drug abusing teenagers must not only contend with the pain, cost and sorrow of their out-of control teen’s behavior, they have to grapple with the implications of abetting the state’s ability to interfere within the family. Communities across the nation are challenging the right of a given school to punish a student for personal behavior unassociated with the school.

“No parent or school official in Moorestown, or in any other South Jersey district, would admit supporting teenage substance abuse or other potentially dangerous behavior. Yet, the Moorestown school district’s initiative to regulate the risky behavior of students off campus has some parents asking if administrators are being too intrusive.
[..]
It appears Moorestown school officials, like officials throughout New Jersey, are trying to meet the community’s insistence that they do more to crack down on student substance abuse and violence. Parents, judges and state officials throughout the nation have recognized that schools, who often are given the responsibility of surrogate parents, have a significant opportunity to help mold student behavior. But should schools have a say in how students behave once they leave school for the day, the weekend or over the summer?”
(source)

Parental Responsibility

A less intrusive method of intervention by far is for the parent to assume responsibility for their teen’s behavior themselves. If drug use is suspected, there are drug prevention kits available for parents to administer, though there are cautionary notes sounded as to the effectiveness of kits bought online and a parent will want to investigate all options.

An intermediary measure that still respects a family’s privacy from state intervention is to see if their local police or county officials offer drug testing, something similar to what has been instituted in this Michigan community.

“A new county program gives parents who suspect their teens of abusing drugs free access to drug tests.

“The program is funded through a Charlevoix prosecutor’s office grant, but test results are confidential and are not shared with law enforcement officials, said Scott Kelly, who heads the Bay Area Substance Education Services (BASES) teen center in Charlevoix.

“It’s for the family that wants to do some early intervention,” Kelly said. “I’d say we get four or five phone calls a week from concerned parents. There’s a whole lot of kids that are using and parents who are frustrated and don’t know what to do.”
(Source)

If parents want the sanctity and privacy of the family to remain unbreached by the state, parents will have to assume responsibility for their troubled teens so that institutions outside of the family don’t have to.