Troubled Teens Resources

Boarding schools are not the last resort for parents dealing with teen age drug abuse. Boarding schools, in many instances, are very often the best and wisest choice to deal with troubled teenagers. Many teens at risk go through out-patient drug rehab programs successfully, yet relapse a few months later. A primary cause for relapse is that they return to the same environment and friends ill equipped to deal with the influences that triggered their drug addiction to begin with.

A troubled teen boarding school or a military boarding school extracts the teen completely from the destructive social scene, school and friends that contributed to the start of a troubled teen’s addiction. An addict needs time and opportunity to gain an identity unrelated to their drug addicted past. They also need to time to develop the coping skills and inner strength to resist the temptations that will present themselves from their old life.

“A person who enters detox at a clinic would face strong reminders if he went back to his community and friends.

An alcoholic might go to a bar with his friends planning to be the designated driver, only to relapse. Or a drug user might think he’s going to his dealer’s house just to talk, Stewart said.

But the old environment and friends usually don’t support recovery, he said.

“It’s important to replace them with new friends who are trying to do more things with their life than being an alcoholic or user,” Stewart said.”

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Anger management is obviously not solely a teen issue. But learning how to control anger definitely ought to be. Sorting out conflicting emotions and the ability to debate points of contention are extremely valuable skills that, frankly, most adults need to improve upon.

Teen crisis intervention is always best delivered by teaching these very types of coping skills.
If you have a passionate teen who is not able to rein in his emotions when confronted or contradicted, MyOutofControlTeen.com has materials and resources parents can use in teaching their teens how to handle combustible situations and difficult people. One method suggested is teaching the teen basic conflict resolution.

Some suggestions are:

1. Setting ground rules. Agree to work together and set rules such as noname-calling, blaming, yelling or interrupting.
2. Listening. Let each person describe their point of view without interruption. The point is to understand what a person wants and why they want it.
3. Finding common interests. Establish facts and issues that everyone can agree on and determine what is important to each person.
4. Brainstorming possible solutions to the problem. List all options without judging them or feeling that they must be carried out. Try to think of solutions where everyone gains something.
5. Discussing each person’s view of the proposed solutions. Negotiate and try to reach a compromise that is acceptable to everyone involved.
6. Reaching an agreement. Each person should state his or her
7. interpretation of the agreement. Try writing the agreement down and checking back at a later time to see how it is working.

A parent who has a teen diagnosed with ADD faces the difficult decision of whether to use medication or attempt to find a program designed to teach their teen how to work with their ADD and learn the necessary coping skills needed to mange ADD. It is often a more appealing resolution to give the teen the power to manage his own emotions and temperament than to give that responsibility over to a drug.

Find a Summer Program for Add Teen

Because ADD typically causes behavioral problems which can lead to agitation, insecurity and depression, an ADD teen is more vulnerable to self-destructive behavior. Without treatment, ADD can precipitate a downward spiral that ultimately can be very damaging.

Parents may want to consider finding a summer program conducted by a troubled teen boarding school or wilderness camp that will specifically focus on ADD. Some troubled teen boarding schools offer summer boot camp programs for non-resident teens specifically focused on learning cognitive and critical thinking skills that equip a teen to manage his ADD. Check with your mental health professionals to see if there is a summer program for your teen.

Here is a quick review of symptoms displayed by ADD kids;

Add Symptoms

• Inability to follow instructions, failing to complete schoolwork or requiring an excessive amount of time to finish homework
• Easily distractible, forgetting daily activities
• Failure to focus, failure to pay attention to someone speaking
• Some examples of impulsivity include:
• A child who interrupts or blurts out answers before a question is finished.
• Trouble waiting for ones turn.
• Acting or speaking without thinking of the consequences or dangers.
• Some examples of hyperactivity include:
• Inability to sit in ones seat with constant fidgeting of hands and feet.
• Running and climbing at inappropriate times.
• Children who talk excessively.
• A child who is on the go constantly.
• Some examples of poor organizational skills include:
• Failure to bring home assignments or to turn assignments into the teacher on a timely basis.
• Inability to follow instructions or be able to plan success strategies such as when to study for a test, or how to organize papers and folders.
• Difficulty remembering to bring home books etc.

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The specter of teen age drug abuse does not end at high school graduation but follows at-risk teens, like the promise of a curse, into college.

“It hits you a lot faster when you snort it, like 10 minutes, but it doesn’t last that long,” Kim said.

This is not a troubled teen talking but a college freshman who regularly uses Adderall to pull her through her all nighters spent studying. Her supply is obtained from a friend who has a legal prescription but doesn’t like how the drug feels and has no qualms distributing pills to her friends.

“Students who give their prescribed medicine to friends think they are helping them while making some money on the side, DeMaria said. He also said that some students who are prescribed stimulants like Adderall may feel peer pressure to sell to friends. The availability of these pills could be attributed to the over-diagnosis of ADHD, DeMaria said.”

Though research indicate that females are twice as likely to be addicted to stimulants like Adderall than men as well as the possibilities for strokes, depression and paranoia, most college students seem unfazed.

“College students have a tendency to perceive prescription drugs to be safer than other drugs because they are prescribed by a doctor, according to the CASA study.”

One answer to the problem seems unsatisfying only because it is so simple.

“Effective stress management can keep students from turning to stimulant abuse, DeMaria said, adding that students should be careful what they agree to without overloading their schedules. Toward the end of the semester when students tend to be busier, they should plan accordingly and make sure to take time to relax, DeMaria added.”

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Yes, simple enough but something that needs to start being taught when a student is a freshman in high school, not college. With the statistics inexorably becoming more and more grim regarding teen age drug abuse, it seems like stress and coping skills need to become a required course.

Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)has been debated for the last twenty years with many parents still feeling confused when their teen is diagnosed.

What we do know for sure is that teenagers who display the noted traits of ADD are vulnerable to more at-risk behaviors, if for no other reason than that their inability to pay attention and tendency to cause distractions sets them up to be viewed as a trouble maker.

One parent pulled her son from the public school he attended and placed him in a troubled teen boarding school. Not because she disagreed with the diagnosis but because the public school’s method of dealing with ADD was so counter productive. When speaking with the public school counselor about her concerns that one of Ritalin’s long term affects might be a shortened life span, the counselor blithely responded that even if that was the truth, better a short “quality” life than a long life as he was.

If they had no more vision for her son than that, she would place him in the hands of those professionals who could teach him the coping skills that have proven effective in teaching teens to mitigate and control the effects of ADD. She found that the training he received at boarding school taught him to use his ADD as an asset by employing methods to utilize it instead of be ruined by it.

The poor behavior that he had begun to exhibit was soon replaced by self-discipline, conscientiousnes and a strong sense of responsibility. Instead of heading down an ever spiralling self-destructive path, he is now preparing for college.

In many ways, the myriad number of troubled teens who are struggling with drug addictions and behavioral problems can be attributed to the progressive teaching philosophies that have gone towards creating the present day “wisdom” that teenagers must be spared hurt feelings. That they should be spared the experience of defeat or the trials of failure.

Little League teams have adopted rules where no one wins so that no one has to go through the experience of loosing. The standard grading system has given way to measures that will not allow for an “F” and where papers marked with red ink are prohibited. We are witnessing the consequences of this kid glove treatment in the inability of the young adolescent to cope with stress or criticism or failure, who have unrealistic expectations for a life without obstacles or struggle.

“True learning involves making mistakes, which often leaves children frustrated. Frustration requires a level of determination to see the problem through. Unfortunately, many children lack a sense of resolve and give up on a task immediately if they don’t get it the first time, thinking that it’s too hard, or worse, that they’re “stupid”. Why is this? One theory is that our “drill and kill” methods have eliminated the development of creative problem solving, teaching children that there is one and only one answer to most problems. Unable to get the one “right” answer, they lack the motivation to try alternate strategies.”
(source)

One of the many lessons a good, accredited troubled teen boarding school provides is to teach teenagers the vital coping skills without which they are sitting ducks for the type of temptation that the drug culture offers.

The parents job is not to protect teenagers from the rough spots but to teach them how to  work through them without inflicting damage on themselves or others.

A New England public high school is conducting a series of parental forums to discuss how the schools could intervene to prevent a teenager from ever starting down the road to drug abuse to begin with. Attended by only a dozen parents, it is yet one small example of thousands of schools across the country grappling with the seemingly never ending cycle of drug abuse that still plagues too many generations of America’s young.

Intervention sounds so intrusive, so likely to violate the rights and privacy of the individual. In a perfect world, the state’s intervention into a teenager’s life wouldn’t be necessary. In a perfect world, parents would devise their own solutions to dealing with troubled teens. One has to look at the state’s involvement in the private lives of families as a mixed blessing. The fact of the matter is, too many parents have abdicated their roles as guides and mentors and disciplinarians and have instead chosen to be their teenagers best bud. Some parents use drugs and alcohol themselves and find it easier to join their teens rather than accept responsibility for either their or their troubled teen’s behavior.

“… One of her biggest beefs…is that so many parents are out there saying, ‘As long as I know they’re here and I have their keys, they’re not driving and drinking. And it’s OK for them to drink.’ That’s not acceptable.” “But it happens,” … “This is not acceptable from either a legal or an educational standpoint, but we see it a lot. There are parents who drink with their children. There are parents who smoke marijuana with their children. For educators, it’s very frustrating.”
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Teen crisis intervention by institutions that were meant to educate , not rehabilitate, have simply become a fact of life. In many cases, it has been the only doorway available for a teen to exit a troubled home and find access to constructive behavioral models and alternative coping skills.

“Hi every1. I haven’t been happy in a very long time. I have been crying and feeling very lonely. I miss my old school and don’t have a lot of friends. I realli hate my stupid fuckin life. I just saw my therapist and lately I have been crying at the end of my therapy appointments. My parents want me to try an after-school activity but I’m scared about dat cuz I ain’t good at meeting new ppl. I’m worried kids might make fun of me cuz I have Asperger’s Syndrome. I need to make friends and feel better soon or else my parents will send me to boarding school next year and I don’t want dat! What should I do? sum1 plz help”
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“…very lonely…miss old school…ain’t good at meeting new people…or else my parents will send me to boarding school.”

Loneliness, a sense of not belonging, fear of new people, fear of being misunderstood; all factors that could easily lead this troubled teen to abusing drugs or other self-destructive behavior.

A military school or placement into a teen therapy program at an accredited boarding school is the very plan of action that could save this at-risk teen from losing their life all together. Yet, it sounds as if the parents have perhaps used the idea of a boarding school as a threat as opposed to discussing it with their troubled teen as a positive solution for her loneliness and sense of ostracism.

It is very important that parents of troubled teens not resort to presenting a boarding school solution as a threat or punishment. For a trouble teen with this combination of emotional disturbances, it is the exact environment where she or he can safely work out their problems, safe from the lure of drugs or other destructive means of escaping emotional pain.

A good boarding school will be able to address all of a troubled teen’s issues, providing he or she with excellent coping skills, assisting the troubled teen in developing their talents and strengths, teaching them healthy methods of dealing with depression and loneliness. Unfortunately, the solutions teens may seek outside of an effective teen treatment program and without the protective isolation a good boarding school are all too often found in drugs or alcohol abuse. In a sound teen treatment program in an accredited boarding school, the at-risk teen is given an even playing field to heal, not subject to the additional pressure of being tempted to use drugs or alcohol as a means of coping.

A parent who is considering sending their troubled teen to a brat camp or boarding school would be well advised to present such a solution in a positive light, not as a threat, but as an empowering opportunity for growth.

It would be funny if it were not such an apt example of the degree of frustration that can visit a parent or teacher in the face of the behavioral problems of teens with AD/HD.
Obviously this teacher’s solution is the wrong way to handle it.

“A substitute teacher who taped a student’s mouth shut and bound four others to their seats at Pleasant Grove Elementary School was banned from working in Jefferson County schools one day after the incident.”

Unfortunately,right on the heels of AD/HD can come calling a laundry list of other problems with an at-risk teenager; low-self esteem, poor grades,rage, hostility and drug abuse. When trying to raise a teenager who’s behavior embodies all of these contributors, the parent is forced to consider alternative educational options. Though most public schools have excellent programs for the AD/HD inflicted teen, they are not adequately equipped to deal with AD/HD compounded by other behavioral disorders.

A key characteristic of the AD/HD afflicted teenager is the need for structure. Military schools with teen therapy programs, brat schools and teen wilderness programs will provide the troubled teen with exactly the amount of discipline, authority and structure they need.

A school counselor or the teenager’s therapist will be able to provide the parent of the troubled teen with guidance in selecting the appropriate boarding school environment.

Here are some coping skills that will assist your AD/HD teenager until an apprpriate program can be found.

• Sit in the front of class to limit distractions.
• Turn off email, instant messaging, and your phone when doing homework or other tasks that require focused attention. This will help protect you against being distracted.
• Talk openly with your teacher about your condition and work together to be sure you’re learning in a way that works for you. For example, some schools will allow people with ADHD more time for taking tests. Some teens may benefit from smaller class sizes and tutorial help.
• Use tools that help you stay organized. Keep a homework notebook to keep track of assignments, including a list of books and readings you’ll need to bring home to do them. Write down classes, extracurricular activities, and other appointments in a daily planner so you don’t forget. Keeping a daily agenda can also help you avoid making unplanned, impulsive decisions: If you’re scheduled to start homework at 4:30, you’ll know it’s not a good idea to go with your friend to watch her 4:00 soccer practice. The organization skills you develop now will serve you well in the future, too. Even people who don’t have ADHD all find they need to develop these skills when they head off to the workplace — so you’ll be ahead of the curve!
• Get plenty of exercise. Studies are starting to show that exercise can help people who have ADHD. If you feel hyper during school, talk to a teacher about taking activity breaks so you can stay focused and concentrate better when in class. Take frequent activity breaks while studying or doing homework.
• Practice relaxation and meditation techniques to relax and focus. Try this breathing exercise for starters.
• Let friends know what’s going on. Sometimes with our friends, we blurt things out and regret it later or we do silly, impulsive things. If this happens to you, let your friends know that sometimes you just say things without thinking all the way through, apologize if you have hurt someone’s feelings, and try to be extra careful in new situations.
• Take pride in the things you do well. Having ADHD is just a different way of being, and people with ADHD have their own abilities and talents.