Troubled Teens Resources

“I don’t believe that every problem requires a therapist,” Townsend says. “Part of the job of parenting is helping kids succeed with problems. Help them come up with solutions.”

Parents of teens at risk often feel that they are walking through land mines. The threats to troubled teens today come from all sides - from a pop culture that undermines parental authority by promoting teen age drug abuse and irresponsible behavior, to sexual predators on the internet, to the possibilities of their teen being diagnosed with any number of “disorders”…what is a parent to think? Which expert do they trust?
Well, that is the problem solving that parents need to do while teaching their teens to solve problems on their own. Parents know their teens better than any expert but the one obstacle to that insight being useful is when parents ignore their gut.

“Parents’ gut instincts are right on the money,” says Linderman, author of the new book The Teen Whisperer: How to Break Through the Silence and Secrecy of Teenage Life. “They say they knew it. They could feel it, but they didn’t want to admit it. They need to remove that denial. They need to see the reality of what’s going on.”

Stanton Peele, a psychologist, attorney and addiction expert from Chatham, N.J., is familiar with parents in denial. He says many parents are not realistic about expectations. “We think that drugs and alcohol are two bad things out there and we need to beat them back. We figure if we just warn and scare kids enough, everything will be all right. But we know that doesn’t work.”

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Teen crisis intervention is hard to implement in a community where parents and citizens tend to be in denial. Wealthier communities may have a particularly hard time understanding that drugs and drug problems are no longer confined to certain demographics. Troubled teenagers come from both sides of the track.

And what is true in America is apparently also true in Great Britain. One mother, desperate for her son’s life, lashes back at her wealthy neighbors for failing to take the problem seriously.

“One local mother says it’s time for parents to wake up and realize all youths are at risk of becoming drug addicts.

Peggy Strife, who lives in a $400,000 home in a good neighbourhood, has been grappling with her 20-year-old son Brad’s crystal meth addiction for the past several years.

“I’m waiting for him to die,” said Strife about her son…Strife and her spouse lived through their own period of denial about what drugs were doing to Brad. She doesn’t want to see anyone else ignore the problem.

Strife disapproves of recent letters to the editor in the Herald where people have expressed opposition to building a youth treatment centre here.

“We have a high drug rate here and people don’t want to admit it,” Strife said.

When Strife was cruising the streets with a baseball bat, attempting to stop her son from finding and using meth, she rarely tracked down her son in areas like the West Flat, which she says tend to be associated with substance abuse issues.

“A lot of the houses I was at were on the East and West hills,” said Strife. She estimated that there were six youth drug dealers within a five-block radius of her upper-class home.

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Teen crisis intervention may amount to doing nothing at all. As we have all seen, a teenager hell bent on destroying their life does not take kindly to criticism or advice. Be it a teenager or an adult, an addict who hasn’t hit bottom yet is likely to keep on using until they do.

The troubled teenager who wrote the following seems to recognize the importance of consequences, even though he has yet to
hit bottom, he seems to understand that will be the only lesson he’ll understand.

“Don’t let your love and anxiety for me lead you into doing what I ought to do for myself….

Don’t accept my promises, I’ll promise anything to get off the hook. But the nature of my illness prevents me from keeping promises, even though I mean them at the time.

Don’t make empty threats. Once you have made a decision, stick to it.

Don’t believe everything I tell you, it may be a lie. Denial of reality is a symptom of my illness. Moreover, I’m likely to lose respect for those I can fool too easily.

Don’t let me take advantage of you or exploit you in any way. Love cannot exist for long without the dimension of justice.

Don’t cover up for me or try in any way to spare me the consequences of my drinking and using. Don’t lie for me, pay my bills, or meet my obligations. It may avert or reduce the very crisis that would prompt me to seek help. I can continue to deny that I have a drinking and using problem as long as you provide an automatic escape from the consequences of my drinking/using.”

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