Troubled Teens Resources

Sometimes you wonder if public schools ought to consider implementing some of the programs employed at schools for troubled teens. Listen to a description of Tipton Academy’s “cognitive self change”. Surely the lesson has value beyond the walls of institutions that work with troubled teens. It is a prescription for how to avoid becoming one.

“This discipline is remarkably distinct in that it teaches how to dramatically alter one’s belief that he is the victim of his own feelings and circumstances. In this discipline, excuses are not accepted. Change takes place when a person makes a conscious decision to think differently about himself and the world in which he exists. The program is an integrated, cognitive behavior change program for youth which includes cognitive restructuring, social skills development, and development of problem-solving skills. It is presented in the format of a small group setting”

I’ve seen the same principle successfully employed at a local teen program that I have done volunteer work with. In that program the teen is guided towards recognizing “their story”. Everyone has a story as to why their life is how it is. Too often the stories that teens tell themselves make everyone else the problem. The stories are usually focused on pain, loss and hurt rather than solutions, strengths and hope. The teens were taught how to re-write that story to reflect the facts, not the drama.

Teaching a teen to look for solutions instead of nurse his or her wounds can turn that teen towards constructive behavior , leading the teen to seek solutions instead of looking for someone to blame.

Schools for troubled teens do not represent a last option or a desperate choice. Quite the opposite, given prescription drug abuse, meth labs, binge drinking, internet addiction and a whole host of other obstacles a teen must run, if that teen demonstrates behavior that indicates he is likely to stumble, a military boarding school or specialty school can assure that the teen at risk will finish the race.

“Youth need programs designed not to punish, but to heal and equip them to be valued by, and to value, themselves, their families, and others. The Helping Disciplines incorporated in the Tipton Academy include but are not limited to “Animal Assistance”, “Structure”, “Positive Peer Culture”, “Cognitive Self Change”, and an “Individualized Educational Program”. These disciplines are widely recognized as some of the most successful difference makers for troubled teens and adults.”

Each program listed above equips the teens with the tools that he will need to thwart peer pressure, succeed academically, manage emotions and chart a course for the future.

Cognitive Self Change is a prime example.

“This discipline is remarkably distinct in that it teaches how to dramatically alter one’s belief that he is the victim of his own feelings and circumstances. In this discipline, excuses are not accepted. Change takes place when a person makes a conscious decision to think differently about himself and the world in which he exists. The program is an integrated, cognitive behavior change program for youth which includes cognitive restructuring, social skills development, and development of problem-solving skills. It is presented in the format of a small group setting (PPC groups).”

Tipton Academy for Boys

Schools for troubled teens, military boarding schools and other specialty schools all have tales similar to the one excerpted below. It speaks to the simple but powerful efficacy of discipline and sports. These are principles that professionals in the field of teen metal health will all attest to. So will the parent of the young man described here.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder combined with Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder can be a monumental handicap, as one teen and his desperate parents discovered…

“In the classroom… he grew up engaged in a daily struggle – wanting to focus on reading, writing and arithmetic, but unable to do so….
[..]
He felt alienated from his classmates and teachers, a feeling that was reinforced through violent clashes with fellow students.”
[..]
Nothing prepares a parent for something like this, and Travis readily admits he and Heather were ill-equipped to deal with young Brent. They sought out as much information as possible on O.D.D. and ADHD, but books and pamphlets only go so far…
[..]
Salvation for the Dicus family didn’t come in the form of a Ritalin pill or some well-meaning but ineffectual art therapy. It came in the form of an oblong ball and a green field 110 yards in length and 65 yards wide. Life started to change when Brent discovered football.

Travis and Heather knew their boy needed an outlet for his energy, somewhere he could go to hit people and get away with it. The traits that made Brent such a handful off the field were a great asset to him between the sidelines.
[..]
Though she was skeptical early, Heather Dicus soon came to appreciate the discipline supplied to her son by his coaches, who made him run laps and do sit-ups when he got out of line. Off the field she saw tangible results. He was becoming manageable, to the point where he hardly needed any medication during football season.

It didn’t happen overnight, but by the time Brent got to Grade 7 he was ready to leave that medication behind. ”

(Source)

Brat camp counselors know this regimen well. So do troubled teen boarding school teachers as do the many teen help professionals that promote and value instilling discipline. And about the most enjoyable way to learn discipline is through sports.

I often recall the stories an athletic coach would tell of the amazing results that he had teaching troubled teens how to harness and enhance their natural power and prowess in a gym,and especially how well martial arts succeeded in teaching that. He was not alone in his enthusiasm.

“The mystique of karate, which filtered into the United States… has a draw that western team sports, such as baseball or basketball, can’t match, said Brad Binder, a neuro-biologist..

“The main reasons go beyond the physical activity,” he said. “But that aspect is speculative. No one really knows yet.”

A sense of accomplishment is valuable for all human beings. For many teens, that experience is hard to come by. They know failure after failure, and thus, view their lives as doomed. And now it appears that mastering martial arts not only can give the troubled teen that pride, but can also give them a tool to manage ADHD.

“Because karate is fast-paced and visual, it can appeal to children with attention disorders who in the classroom might lash out but are model students on the mat, said Joe Palanzo, president of the Worldwide Kenpo Karate Association in Baltimore.

“It gives you a certain satisfaction you don’t get doing anything else,” Palanzo said.

Sometimes this success extends into the classroom, increasing a student’s concentration.

“It taught me how to sit still and avoid the distractions, how to avoid everything around me, how everything around me is blocked out,” said Larry Calcote, 13, who is diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.”

(Source)

Boot camps, military boarding schools, troubled teen boarding schools, local non-profit teen programs, mentoring; all of these various programs dedicated to teen help achieve success by inculcating in the troubled teen one lesson and giving back a couple gifts.

The lesson comes in teaching the teen how to harness the power of his or her own will by choosing the discipline of commitment, exercised by perseverance.

Independence and self-possession are the gifts. Independence from addiction, independence from the negative influence of popular culture and peer pressure, independence from the dependency of victimhood. And that delivers the troubled teen’s life back into their possession, free to make of it what they will.

And those gifts come by way of the teen committing to do what it takes, no matter what it takes, to gain mastery over their life. The simplest way to learn that is to get a job and develop a work ethic that will hold the teen in good stead the rest of their life. The basics are boring, initially unrewarding, but pave the way to life long habits of success.

Many communities have put together such programs, underwritten by non profits or the business community. Waco, in the story below, is one such town.

“Through the program, teen parents, dropouts, juvenile offenders, homeless youth and others learn fundamental trade skills that will land them high-demand jobs and — for some — a chance at a college education.

Over the course of six weeks, a dozen youths rebuild their lives with little more than self- discipline and simple carpenters’ tools.
[..]
Brandon turned it all around after being accepted into Summer Building Trades…“I was able to see the result (of my bad decisions) and correct things,” he said. “You can’t get a job if you’re behind bars.”
[..]
He recently scored a football scholarship to the University of Mary Hardin-Baylor and said he’d like to become a teacher or a social worker.”

(Source)

Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder can be tackled by many methods besides medication. Recent studies have indicated a correlation between ADHD and too much media consumption. Other studies indicate outdoor activities as a tools for managing ADD. It’s been demonstrated that weight lifting and martial arts programs are excellent for counteracting ADHD. So disconnect the teen from their media, get them outside and enroll them in a sport. All medication free.

In fact there are programs appearing daily all over the world that employ a constellation of therapies that can turn ADD into an asset instead of a stumbling block. Boot camps, troubled teen boarding schools and military schools have success with a combination of structure, discipline, accountability and cognitive self-change.

Parents need not despair if their teen or child has been diagnosed with ADD. First, get more than one opinion. You might find some schools are extremely heavy handed when it comes to demanding a teen be medicated. Stand your ground and seek alternatives if you are uncomfortable with medicating your teen.

Experiment with behavioral modification training that you can conduct at home. About.com has several suggestions along these lines, with links to various programs.

“Behavior Modification programs are an important part of treatment for children with ADD/ADHD. They can be used to improve behavior at home, improve academic success or improve family relationships. They can range from elaborate programs to simple charts.”

Oppositional Defiant Disorder is described as having the following “symptoms”:

• Often loses temper
• Often argues with adults
• Often actively defies or refuses to comply with adults’ requests or rules
• Often deliberately annoys people
• Often blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehaviors
• Is often touchy or easily annoyed by others
• Is often angry and resentful
• Is often spiteful or vindictive

This type of behavior used to be referred to as bratty and children who demonstrated such antics were justifiably disciplined as brats. Today, to the amusement of many, this is called ODD or Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

We will shy away from discussing the merits, or lack thereof, in slapping another label on a kid. A label that will no doubt ring the cash registers for psychiatrists and pharmaceuticals.
Focusing instead on the behavior described, what has been the usual method of dealing with it?  Discipline. Anger management. Critical thinking skills. All behavioral remedies that instill life long habits that any functioning adult requires to be a productive and contributing participant in life.

Cognitive self-change is an example of an effective behavioral program, a “discipline [that] is remarkably distinct in that it teaches how to dramatically alter one’s belief that he is the victim of his own feelings and circumstances. In this discipline, excuses are not accepted.”

Now doesn’t that sound a bit more constructive than another prescription? Parents who are truly alarmed at the behavior being demonstrated by their teen can find programs such as cognitive self change in accredited troubled teen boarding schools, military schools and in short term youth camps.

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure, as the saying goes. Most parents would agree that the best teen crisis intervention there is, is prevention. But how?

It’s the little things. The extra moments spent with them before bedtime. Closing your brief case and opening up a conversation. The small assurances of love, support, and affirmation. Taking time. Loving them minute by minute. Caring enough to instruct and discipline.

A guest blogger at DeWitt on Parenting gather the collected wisdom of several mother that she knows and I’ll reprint it below.

It’s a great round-up of advice and it is all the little things that parents may forget to do or think too unimportant to matter.

But love, discipline and time together will remain the best interventions a parent can devise. Enough of it can help steady your teenager through the tumultuous years of adolescence.

• When you say goodnight to your child, linger for a moment before walking out of his/her bedroom; you’ll be amazed at what your child will share with you right before bedtime.
• At dinnertime, turn off the TV, put down the cell phone, shut off the computer and talk with your children. Show them you care about what they have to say.
• Give your children chores/responsibilities and let them do it their own way; don’t go behind them and “fix” things or you’ll make your children feel as if they are never good enough.
• Never ask your child to be the messenger between you and your ex-spouse; it can make a child feel uncomfortable and disloyal. Pick up the phone or email your ex-spouse yourself.
• Support your child’s natural talents and abilities; don’t try to fit a square peg in a round hole or to re-live your childhood dreams through your child.
• Set realistic boundaries and consequences and stick to them. It’s okay if your child gets mad at you! Your child will have plenty of friends, but only one set of parents.
• When you make a mistake, admit you were wrong and apologize. Your children don’t need to think you are perfect or infallible.
• Keep telling your children your thoughts, values and advice – your opinions have more of an impact than you think, for a lot longer than you think.
• Tell your children they can call you anytime they are in trouble – and mean it.
• No matter what you are doing … if your child says he/she wants to talk, stop everything and listen.
• The best way to teach your child honesty, kindness, fairness, work ethic, and any quality you value is by example.
• Have more faith that your kids will grow up to be just fine.

from Dewitt on Parenting

They are up at around 6 AM and back to bed by 10. Their day is structured, with each hour allocated either to school work or other program work. They are troubled teens who wanted freedom and their own way and have lost both.

To some troubled teens, being placed in a troubled teen boarding school will be tantamount to being imprisoned. For those teens whose parents never imposed much discipline, this will be classified as extremely cruel and unusual punishment. That is what they will tell parents in the beginning anyway.

Some teens actually believe that they would no longer have to do schoolwork. They are rudely surprised that in the majority of boarding schools and military schools, like Tipton or Meadowlark, that academics are a major part of their day with a demand for an 80% or higher grade in order to progress to each new assignment.

Some teens imagine that they will hang out in cells with their”bro”, shooting the breeze, playing cards, talking smack. These teens are especially dismayed to find themselves at the end of a broom sweeping grounds or at the end of a pair or reins helping out with the horses.

A credible and comprehensive boarding school will touch your troubled teenager’s life in all the areas that they do not want to be touched in. Freedom, authority and discipline.

If all goes well, a good treatment program will have taught the teen that if he masters his behavior in these three areas that he has written himself a very powerful check to cash in when entering back into his regular teenage existence.

Whatever your troubled teen may have imagined boarding school to be, they will find themselves wrong, but ultimately, in the end, they’ll know it was the right place at the right time.

Liz was numb. She glanced at her 13 year old teenager. The forbidden tattoo was defiantly blazoned on his forearm, holes from the removed piercing still were visible on his nose. Those things would fade, she pondered, but would the hatred and sullenness in his eyes and face and words ever go away?

They were waiting for their therapist who was going to accompany Liz and David to the military boarding school where David’s out of control behavior and burgeoning drug abuse had led them. Liz couldn’t help but remember the last time she had sent her son anywhere it was to summer camp when he was 10. His joy and animation seemed like memories collected from another life, a life when they were a happy young family and her son a bright and enthusiastic child. How could that only be three years ago, she mused. What had they done so wrong in three years?

Liz of course is not alone. Thousands of parents have gone through the painstaking research on residential treatment programs, teen boarding schools and brat camps. Thousand have stood with their insides torn apart, waiting to deliver their child into the embrace of the boarding school or military school that research and counsel had led them to select.

And perhaps that is the hardest part. Getting rid of denial and getting down to doing the research that will save your troubled teens life. Military schools, or boarding schools that embrace the disciplines and structure that military schools are noted for, are most often the institutions parents of troubled teens decide upon. Lack of structure and discipline are very often the key factors in an at-risk teens descent into drug abuse and out of control behavior.

In exploring boarding school options, parents hope to find programs that not only embrace discipline but also employ innovative and empowering programs as well as providing a continuum for their teen’s education that will place them well when they graduate. Tipton Academy for boys and Meadowlark Academy for girls are two such institution that offer a comprehensive package of programs and exemplifies what the parent of the troubled teen should seek out.