Troubled Teens Resources

One area of teen crisis intervention is depression. Teenage depression, and depression in general, is reported as being on the rise. Some claim that that increase actually represents more depression being reported since the stigma attached to it has lessened.

Actual depression, in and of itself, is indeed a frightening and enervating experience for those who have it and those who live with them. But there is concern that it may be over-prescribed for, with perfectly healthy people deciding that their occasional, and quite normal, bout of the blues needs medicating.

The seriousness of depression was very clear to me when talking with a friend raising a teenage girl. In a girls boarding school since her freshman year, her father’s financial reversals brought her home. Finishing her senior year away from her friends threw her into a suicidal spin that her mother fears daily will be repeated.

Check with your trusted physicians as well as mental health specialists if you have concerns about your teen possibly being depressed. An article in Science Daily goes over basic information.

“Classic severe depression is fairly easy to recognize. However, there exist milder forms and variant forms that are less easy to recognize…

Depression generally presents as a persistent (more than 2 weeks) decrease in enthusiasm, motivation, energy, concentration, and enjoyment. It also can lead to sleep or appetite disturbance and feelings of worthlessness or guilt. Additionally, depression generally causes an individual to experience more medical problems and to be more susceptible to physical illness, including death.

Depression is NOT normal feelings of sadness, which ebb and flow according to situational factors.”

(Source)

Girls boarding schools can go a long way towards helping a teenage girl develop an identity free from the current idolization of the frivolous and destructive lifestyles exhibited by the current crop of celebrity teens. It isn’t as if a young teens entering private boarding schools are cut off from all outside influences. Far from the case, but for many teenage girls it is the first time that they are exposed to possibilities for young women shed of all the pop culture hype. And perhaps the first time that they are given an opportunity to think of themselves in terms of their intellect and skills, not their looks or other superficial measures.

Talking about teenage girls and depression, Julie Danielson, a counselor at a California high school, makes a very striking statement. Striking in that it is not said enough.I have put it in bold.

“One of the biggest problems Danielson deals with is relationships in which, often, one person (usually the girl) becomes co-dependent on the other.

“I have seen girls become so despondent they want to hurt themselves,” she said.

She noted that she also comes across teenagers who are “looking for love in all the wrong places” and believe happiness can be achieved by having sex.

“One of the biggest problems Danielson deals with is relationships in which, often, one person (usually the girl) becomes co-dependent on the other.

“I have seen girls become so despondent they want to hurt themselves,” she said.

She noted that she also comes across teenagers who are “looking for love in all the wrong places” and believe happiness can be achieved by having sex.

“In all my years, I’ve never had a girl come to me and say, ‘I’m so glad I had sex in high school,’” she said.

“There’s a lot of pressure to have sex, but it’s not always the answer to having a good time in high school. Sometimes, it can be the opposite,” she added.”
(Source)

A recent study reveals data about teen age girls that professionals at girls boarding schools or troubled teen boarding schools would most likely agree with. What may surprise some parents of troubled teenagers is that girls appear to be twice as aggressive and combative as teen boys and equal with boys in their drug and alcohol consumption.

“Girls in U.S. juvenile detention centers face different psychological issues than average teen girls and perhaps more severe issues than incarcerated boys.

In a four-state survey, girls were found to be twice as likely as boys to be aggressive, and just as likely as boys to have problems with alcohol or drug use, findings that surprised psychologist Elizabeth Cauffman, who has worked for years with troubled teens in California and Pennsylvania.”

Though in general girls tend to internalize their problems, incarcerated teen girls were more likely to erupt in fights. In addition to marked hostility and aggression, female prisoners experience higher degrees of anxiety, sleeping problems and depression than do boys.

“One helpful change, Cauffman said, would be to evaluate the mental health issues of teens – both male and female – when they enter the correctional system. The Massachusetts Youth Screening Instrument, Version 2, which Cauffman used as the evaluation tool for her study, was designed specifically for juvenile offenders and can be administered by staff at juvenile detention centers. The screening flags areas for concern – such as depression, drug use, or aggression – that may require further evaluation by a mental health professional.”

(Source)

Girls boarding schools seemed, at first, an unlikely solution to Sarah’s problems. Could any kind of private boarding school help Sarah deal with her sexual acting out? Would separating her from friends and the opposite sex further alienate her?

Sarah’s mother struggled with these questions when trying to determine the best course of action for her daughter’s future. Abused by her step-father, now in jail, Sarah could not seem to stop presenting herself as a little Lolita online, as if hungering for the only “affection” she could understand. Sarah’s mother feared for the day when her daughter would actually meet some of the men that she now teased by posting provocative pictures.

After discovering her daughter’s MySpace page, Sarah’s mother immediately sought out professional counseling. It led her to choose a specialty school for troubled teens based on her belief that her daughter needed to address her emotional and sexual problems on a neutral playing ground, away from the influence of all the highly sexualized pop culture that teens are inundated with.

“I want Sarah to have the time and space to discover that her worth goes far beyond her physical attractiveness. She is brilliant in math, so I chose a school with an emphasis on preparing young girls for a career in science. They combine their academics with regular therapy and behavioral programs. I’m convinced that once her self-esteem is derived from her achievements and her role models are based on accomplished women in science and business, she’ll come to realize that she need not cheapen herself in order to earn love and affection.”

Do your homework. There are thousands of programs and schools, many with financial aid. You are bound to find a school that will be the best fit for your troubled teenager.

Girls boarding schools must be experiencing quite a bit of business these days if a close friend of a teen age daughter serves as a barometer.

“I don’t care what she calls me, she will not have girl friends who think oral sex is just a form of affection. I will not have it. I caved for her nose piercing, I caved in and let her have a tattoo but I am not going to cave on this. She going to an all girls boarding school and learn something more valuable than how to shake her booty.”

Jan was incensed to find graphic materials in her daughter’s room depicting oral sex. She was even more enraged upon discovering that her daughter’s best friend’s mother had supplied the material in the hopes of “being open.”

If today’s sexual climate causes you grave concern, your apprehensions are not misplaced. Study after study records the debilitating effects on teens who pursue sexual activity that they haven’t the least maturity to cope with. And this recent study confirms that peer influence is a strong factor in a young teens sexual activities

“Young people select friends whose attitudes about sex are consistent with their own attitudes. The effect of friends’ attitudes on sexual behavior was stronger for females than for males.

High-risk sexual behavior in adolescents appears to be influenced by the sexual attitudes of peers, and young people select friends whose attitudes about sex are consistent with their own attitudes.”

(Source)
Troubled teen boarding schools for girls are designed to provide programs that inculcate a sense of pride based on accomplishment, not sexual prowess. If an all girl’s school is not an option, do not put your head in the sand regarding your teen daughter’s sexual activities. Ask questions and be absolutely firm aboput the standards that you expect her to keep.

Girls boarding schools may seem like an anachronism to some parents. Very powerful cultural influences are attempting to erase the differences between genders while the reality of teens struggling with normal sexuality is compounded and exacerbated by a barrage of conflicting messages from the media.

“One of the most fascinating shows on self-image for teens was aired on Discovery Channel’s “Sex Files” program (Episode 12: Girl Power). During the show, they reported on eating disorders on the island of Fiji. In 1995, this tropical paradise had only 3 percent of girls with eating disorders in 1995.

Then western television programs were introduced… Three years later, the eating disorders in girls on the island rose to 15%. A surprising follow-up study reported 74% of Fijian girls feeling “too fat or big” and 62% had dieted in the last month—surprising in a culture that typically upholds curvaceous women as beautiful.”
(Source)

One of the most damaging trends has been the effect media has had on a girl’s self image or what has come to be called “body image.” Contributing to the body image issue is the sexualization of girls at a younger and younger age, resulting in another worrisome trend - teen girls choosing to undergo plastic surgery.

Girls boarding schools can  provide a refuge from the cultural tsunami by allowing girls to cultivate an identity based on values not dictated by the fashion world and MTV. A budding scientist or mathematician will be encouraged and confidence will be a result of embracing one’s gifts and intelligence.