Troubled Teens Resources

Alcohol was the drug of choice for Nicole’s young son. She wasn’t ware of it until it was almost too late. Typical of a single mother, her she worked two jobs and trusted the family babysitter. Unfortunately, the trust was misplaced. She discovered that most of the alcohol was consumed under her watch.

Nicole’s family was alarmed when her course of action was to enroll her son in a military boarding school. But Nicole was determined.Alcohol had ruined her marriage and her parent’s marriage and she was not going to allow her son to fall in the same trap. He was given a choice between a school for troubled teens with an emphasis on sports or a military school. Military school won out and it has turned out to be the solution her son needed.

She is to be commended for her responsible actions. Recent news items indicate that, unfortunately, many parents of teens at risk are not.

“We have an underage drinking epidemic on our hands because of the parents who condone it, the retailers who enable it and the children who participate in it,” said Mundelein Police Chief Raymond Rose, head of a countywide task force on underage drinking. “It is a problem that involves all of society, and will require all of society to remedy.”

Deerfield Police Chief John Sliozis, whose community was stung by the deaths of Daniel Bell and Ross Trace, said parents must realize that it’s never safe for teens to drink.

“Some people have always believed that if the kids were drinking under their so-called supervision, it was not really a problem,” Sliozis said. “As acceptable as that myth may have been 20 or 30 years ago, I believe there is no way to deny that teens are far too mobile these days for anyone to subscribe to it.”

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Deerfield is the community where two parents were convicted for allowing underage drinking in their home, pleading ignorance. Their ignorance cost two teens their lives.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a diagnosis that many treat with skepticism. Not that the behavior doesn’t exist, but that it constitutes yet another disorder. Parents will have to review available material and evaluate their own children to determine the accuracy of how the behavior is labeled. But, what every parent very much needs are a variety of options as to how to change that behavior, be it an actual disorder or not.

Great-grandparents used to perhaps refer to “ODD teens” as “snot nosed kids” and sent them packing to military boarding school - no brat camps back then - or to do some hard labor for the summer at a relative’s farm and that was the end of it .Sometimes you wonder if issues like teen age drug abuse, teen pregnancies and high drop out rates would be less prevalent if some of our great grandparents stern stuff were still being served up to teens.

If you are struggling with the definition of ODD and whether or not it applies to your teen, the link below has a good overview on the topic. Here are a couple of their suggestions for parents.

• Find support for yourself. This might be in the form of relatives, area support groups, online chat rooms, or meeting friends who understand for lunch. Have some form of support that you are able to talk to, people that will not judge you but will provide support for your struggles and may be going through some of the same situations.
• Pick your battles with your child. Power struggles will come often with a child with ODD. Choose your battles carefully and determine exactly what you want beforehand.
• Keep a life of your own. Don’t have your child become your life. Keep interests of your own outside of your home and your child. As easily as you can become wrapped up in the struggles of raising a child with ODD, you can become burned out and not have the energy left to complete the task.

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Military boarding schools can take the bully out of the bully and replace it with the self-confidence that cruel behavior typically indicates is lacking. A bully 9 times out of 10 has very low self-esteem which supports a defensive stance to the world. A bully is always sure that every word is a criticism or that they are being treated unfairly.

Immaturity is another counterpart to the bully disposition. Because they are unable to tolerate what is perceived as rejection or criticism, the first response of a bully is to lash out as opposed to think an incident through to determine if any ill will was actually intended.

Bullying can be divided into three categories, according to the “experts”:

• Visual bullying (Something you see). Examples: gestures or mimicking, faces, pictures, graffiti or notes; and cyber bullying (utilizing myspace, email, IM or other internet means to harass).
• Verbal bullying (Something you hear or is said). This includes name-calling, cruel “jokes”, spreading rumors or gossip, verbal threats, excluding, and offensive sounds.
• Physical bullying (something that is done to your body). Examples: throwing things, poking, touching, grabbing or pushing, blocking someone’s way, hitting or punching, intimidating.

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Military boarding schools and various troubled teen boarding schools and boot camps are well known for the positive results that their regimen of discipline produces in a teenager. From false bravado, the bully can transition into self-confidence and emotional maturity. They can go from seeing the world as hostile and full of enemies to a world that offers opportunity and friendships.