Troubled Teens Resources

You may have witnessed Oppositional Defiant Disorder behavior before you ever knew it had a name. It is the child whom parents love, but whom they dread dealing with. It is the child who will not bend, will not negotiate, will not be considerate and knows no boundaries.

There are many factors that come into play when determining why a child develops Oppositional Defiant Disorder and it can become confusing to the parent who is struggling to simply find the most effective means dealing with explosive and disruptive behavior.

Moreover, parents need assurance that there are programs that will help their son or daughter thrive in school. Many times parents will seek out a specialty school that has a staff trained in the behavioral therapies developed for kids and teens coping with ODD and ADHD.
Below is a synopsis of some basic guidelines, with more details at the link below.

• Establish a secure and supportive environment. A child with ODD needs to have security. He needs to know that mom and dad will always be there for him…
• Create a schedule and stick with it. Children need a schedule. This is especially true of the child with ODD. He needs to know what comes next in his day…..
• Set up clear and concise boundaries. Your child must know what will happen if he pulls his sister’s hair, or breaks all the toys in his bedroom in a fit of rage…..
• Be consistent. You will need to mete out the exact same discipline every time your child breaks the rule..
• Never shout or get angry with your child. A child with ODD literally shuts down when being yelled at. He cannot hear you……

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When you read the description of a child or teen labeled with Oppositional Defiant Disorder you think it is inevitable that those teens will end up in schools for troubled teens. They are described as negative, aggressively hostile, strong-willed, spiteful, forward….well, you get the idea, these troubled teens are supposed to be train wrecks.

So you have to ask yourself - what track did these trains wreck on before there were shrinks to label the wrecks.

An interesting post suggests that parents ought to think twice before boarding the “label” train. It could be what you break won’t be ODD, but a strong spirit.

“Let’s face it, kids are tough. Kids push the line every chance they get. They have incredibly strong wills. Why? Because they want it to be their way.

Personally, I want my son to be strong willed because that means his will be independent. He won’t be easily swayed by every passing fad. I don’t want to break him of it, I want to show him the limits.

I am not saying that there are no kids who legitimately have these syndromes, but I can’t help but think that many parents look for labels to put on their kids. Our children shouldn’t be perfectly obedient, malleable little clay people. They are going to question and push the limits. They are going to act up when they are bored, tired, and over or under stimulated. They are kids! We have to be parents.

If we refuse to be parents and enforce our strong wills on our children, we can expect “problem children”.

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Oppositional Defiant Disorder can be so overwhelming that parents have no choice but to opt to send their child to a specialty school or schools for troubled teens that specializes with OOD teens. Imagine struggling with a child’s tantrums from toddler on through adolescence.

“At the age of of two-and-a-half, Daniel was more boisterous than a normal toddler – and it was noticed.

“He used to get so excited,” said mum, Hayley… “A normal toddler’s temper tantrum would last about five minutes. Daniel’s lasted one-and-a-half-hours.”
[..]
“Daniel would go into one room and wreck it,” his mum recalled. “By the time I had got into that room he had done another three or four.”
[..]
Things became so bad that the couple,…were trained in ways of restraining Daniel, now 13, for his own safety. Mrs Fletcher taught him at home – because he could not cope in mainstream school.

He wrecked a classroom at North Wootton Primary School and threatened to jump off the roof at St Edmund’s Community Foundation School… His parents came to a mutual agreement with the school for him to leave.

He is now at Eaton Hall….which caters for students with emotional and behavioural difficulties.

Daniel has the genetic condition ADHD or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder which causes behavioural and learning problems like being persistently impulsive, inattentive and defiant. He also has Oppositional Defiant Disorder, showing a pattern of negative and defiant behaviour.”

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Defying authority was the rallying cry of the much lamented hippie movement and if only troubled teenagers today understood how little that will get them. If they ever saw any of the aging and ridiculous “flower children” at recent war protests, they might want to consider that their future portrait if they think there is anything to be gained by personal anarchy. Maybe there would be fewer left over hippies if there had been more troubled teen boarding schools back then, but troubled teens were not yet in the vocabulary, even if they were in the streets.

However, parents in recent years have looked at their defiant child or teenager and wondered if they were observing what has come to be labeled as Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

The following are some symptoms to look for if that is the behavioral problem that you are currently trying to examine.The link below will take you to more info.

Symptoms of ODD may include:

• Throwing repeated temper tantrums
• Excessively arguing with adults
• Actively refusing to comply with requests and rules
• Deliberately trying to annoy or upset others, or being easily annoyed by others
• Blaming others for your mistakes
• Having frequent outbursts of anger and resentment
• Being spiteful and seeking revenge
• Swearing or using obscene language
• Saying mean and hateful things when upset

In addition, many children with ODD are moody, easily frustrated and have a low self-esteem. They also may abuse drugs and alcohol.
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Oppositional Defiant Disorder often co-exists with ADHD. Unlike Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder, not as much research or time has been invested into determining the causes of ODD, a fact that leaves parents frustrated. Is it genetic, is it something they have done?

Though those answers aren’t on the horizon, enough is known about it that theories bandied about suggest an incomplete or unsuccessful phase in childhood development and that, in combination with ADHD, can leave the child psychologically vulnerable to behavioral problems, difficulties in school, and teen age drug abuse down the road.

“The developmental theory proposes that ODD is really a result of incomplete child development. For some reason, these children never complete the developmental tasks that normal children learn to master during the toddler years.

The learning theory suggests that Oppositional Defiant Disorder comes as a response to negative interactions. The techniques used by parents and authority figures on these children bring about the oppositional defiant behavior.”

Listed below are traits evident in a child afflicted with ODD, though the variables are many and these should serve simply as a guideline.

• Loses temper at least twice a week
• Argues with adults at least twice a week
• Actively defies or refuses to comply with adults’ requests or rules at least twice a week
• Deliberately annoys people at least four times a week
• Blames others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior at least once during the last three months
• Is touchy or easily annoyed by others at least twice a week
• Is angry and resentful at least four times per week
• Acts spiteful or vindictive at least once during the last three months

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Teens at risk for behavioral problems display a variety of characteristics, making it very difficult for parents to determine if the teen is slipping into a rebellious stage or if there are deeper problems to be addressed. Parents of ADHD teens are concerned that the ADHD pre-disposes their teens to Oppositional Defiant Disorder or predisposes them for problems with teen age drug abuse.

“Many children with oppositional defiant disorder have other treatable conditions such as ADHD, depression and anxiety. If these conditions are left untreated, managing ODD can be very difficult for the parents, and frustrating for the affected child. Kids with oppositional defiant disorder may have trouble in school with teachers and other authority figures and may struggle to make friends.

ODD may be a precursor to other, more severe behavioral disorders such as conduct disorder, but this is controversial.”

Though the factors that may lead to ODD are not known, the more risk factors in evidence, the stronger the likelihood of it being present. They are as follows:

• Having a parent with a mood or substance abuse disorder
• Being abused or neglected
• Harsh or inconsistent discipline
• Lack of supervision
• Poor relationship with one or both parents
• Family instability such as multiple moves, changing schools frequently
• Parents with a history of ADHD, oppositional defiant disorder or conduct problems
• Financial problems in the family
• Peer rejection
• Exposure to violence
• Frequent changes in daycare providers
• Parents who have a troubled marriage or are divorced

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Teen age drug abuse can ravage a teenager’s life well into adulthood. Though many teens are able to skate through light drug use with few ramifications, the use of drugs by teens at all often indicate an underlying emotional problem. The same old question arises when mental health professionals and parents review the poor behavior of their teens at risk; is it normal teen angst or are there psychological issues that demand a more in-depth approach?

Oppositional Defiant Disorder, ADD and teen depression will likely be with us for as long as there are teenagers. How to treat these issues is a dilemma for both parents and for the mental health profession .Many of those health professionals are concerned with the over zealous use of psychotropic drugs in handling out-of-control teens.

“Recent studies have documented a dramatic increase in prescribing rates for all of these medications to children and adolescents. The increases range from 200 percent to over 500 percent and the most common diagnoses for which atypical anti-psychotics are prescribed in the pediatric population include oppositional defiant disorder, conduct disorder, mood disorders and attention-deficit-hyperactivity disorder. Boys are more likely to be prescribed atypical anti-psychotics than girls and white, non-Hispanic youth more likely than minorities.

There are two problems associated with these changes. First, clinical enthusiasm for prescribing the medications clearly exceeds the evidence of their effectiveness; and second, there are serious metabolic side effects of atypical anti-psychotics that may be especially serious in children. Both are cause for concern.

While there is beginning evidence that certain atypical anti-psychotics are useful in treating aggression, irritability and behavior problems associated with pediatric bipolar disorder and other disorders of childhood, the evidence is not sufficient for any of the medications to have Food and Drug Administration approval for use in children and adolescents. Thus all prescriptions are “off label” and evaluation of their efficacy is uneven.”

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Troubled teenagers with a history of Oppositional Defiant Disorder are exceptionally fortunate if they find themselves in the care of strong, loving parents. Some accounts of ODD behavior are indeed difficult to read . You wonder how any one parent can sustain a healthy environment for their other children when so much time must be dedicated to managing one out of control child or teen. You wonder how marriages survive and families stay intact.

For those parents undergoing such a trial, it is often good to hear an honest account of day to day life.

“People seem to be under the assumption that children with disabilities are “special” and I mean, sweet, loving, holding flowers, blowing kisses and waving at others with a sweet and age delayed hello from their wheelchairs. Angels, precious little angels. Yeah, whatever. If mine is an angel he works for the other side. He is mean, angry, violent and destructive. He has ODD. ..
[..]
Daily, I am hit, I am scratched, I get called names, I get spit on, I get my hair pulled. Some days more than others, of course. Daily, I clean up pee and poop from clothes and from other places.”

Yet, what makes it all do-able is that mysterious ability of some parents to love through it all.

“In spite of all of this, we love him, we love him enough to deal with all the crap, every day, and still love him, not for what he does, but for who he is. A child, our child. We love him enough to dread that a day might come where we can’t do this anymore.”

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Parents must do what is best for their situation, be it send the teen to a specialty school, such as the many schools for troubled teens or, if family and resources are strong, keep working with the troubled teen in the home. But to raise such a teen without any outside help is very ill advised.

Oppositional Defiant Disorder is a diagnosis that many treat with skepticism. Not that the behavior doesn’t exist, but that it constitutes yet another disorder. Parents will have to review available material and evaluate their own children to determine the accuracy of how the behavior is labeled. But, what every parent very much needs are a variety of options as to how to change that behavior, be it an actual disorder or not.

Great-grandparents used to perhaps refer to “ODD teens” as “snot nosed kids” and sent them packing to military boarding school - no brat camps back then - or to do some hard labor for the summer at a relative’s farm and that was the end of it .Sometimes you wonder if issues like teen age drug abuse, teen pregnancies and high drop out rates would be less prevalent if some of our great grandparents stern stuff were still being served up to teens.

If you are struggling with the definition of ODD and whether or not it applies to your teen, the link below has a good overview on the topic. Here are a couple of their suggestions for parents.

• Find support for yourself. This might be in the form of relatives, area support groups, online chat rooms, or meeting friends who understand for lunch. Have some form of support that you are able to talk to, people that will not judge you but will provide support for your struggles and may be going through some of the same situations.
• Pick your battles with your child. Power struggles will come often with a child with ODD. Choose your battles carefully and determine exactly what you want beforehand.
• Keep a life of your own. Don’t have your child become your life. Keep interests of your own outside of your home and your child. As easily as you can become wrapped up in the struggles of raising a child with ODD, you can become burned out and not have the energy left to complete the task.

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Oppositional Defiant Disorder presents an incredible challenge for parents, as does it’s close cousin, Attention Deficit Hyperactive Disorder. It is important for parents who are coping with the emotional hardships that parenting such children entail, to make sure that they receive some nurturing too. Parent support groups typically form around “special needs” kids. They can be discovered through your school and there are many support options available on the internet. And it is not a complicated matter to start one yourself, such as this parent has.

“Their children suddenly run without looking, tell fantastic stories with the conviction of truth, or just cover their ears and scream.
[..]
Julie, Terri, Nancy and Kim, each have at least one child-Pat has a grandson-with special needs, including autism and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder.
[..]
“It feels good to share things.”

“This is very good because I got to know parents with similar problems,” Kim said. “I get to learn different techniques and programs.”

For three years, Slawson has provided a time and place for the mothers to meet and talk about raising children facing special problems.

It’s a combination workshop, class, daycare and group therapy session that Slawson calls “chicken soup for the soul.”

The informal sessions meet four times a school year and might include real soup and snacks. Childcare is provided.”

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Teen age drug abuse, academic failure, and estrangement from family have all been associated with ODD and ADD in troubled teenagers. Obviously, when parents are struggling against such harsh realities, they need regular helpings of “chicken soup”.