Troubled Teens Resources

Teen crisis intervention via positive peer pressure is an effective method of teen help employed in many schools for troubled teens, with very good results. It is also employed, in various forms, throughout the country’s public schools via various programs - Teen Court being one most parents have heard of.

When a teen helps their peers by apprising them of the dangers of drug use, they are going to find themselves meeting with some opposition and hostility, but their efforts are valuable and commendable. That is how positive peer pressure is being deployed by Safe Teens Empowerment Project in one California middle school.

“That is going to be our target population,” said Badon. “Alcohol is available in many of these children’s homes, so they actually get alcohol just by tapping into the parent’s alcohol supply. Marijuana is available, too. If you are a middle school kid you can get marijuana from high school kids. So, these are not adult predators giving drugs to these young kids, they know how to get it.”

Participants in the program will also be present at DUI check points and participate in peer mediation. They needn’t be honor students to participate. The idea is to get a body of students that can relate to the many teen groups that they will encounter.

” Lisette Hernandez… said she wished she had a friend pull her aside to help steer her away from substance abuse…She admitted that she might not have listened at first to friends who didn’t drink or use drugs.

“But, there is always something that is going to stick in your head, maybe not today, but later on,” she said.”
(source)

One very effective means of teen crisis intervention is peer pressure. Yes, the same peer pressure that may convince a teenager to try drugs can also convince them not to. Teens have an opportunity to apply some of that type of pressure by presiding over the sentencing of their fellow teens in teen court.

Teen courts exist all over the nation. in one variation or another. and are surprisingly effective in dealing out justice that seems to leave a lasting impression. Teen help in the form of positive peer culture is employed on a far more comprehensive level in behavioral programs in many teen boarding schools.

“The court sees between 25 and 35 defendants each year, Rutten said.

The program has shown it works, Rutten said.

Only about 3 percent of the teens who have completed the court program end up back in the Clallam County juvenile justice system…”

What the teens say, goes. Thus one teen was told to go fishing and catch “dinner” for a week for a disabled person unable to do so. One of the objectives of the program is to help an offender to develop a connection with the community, theory being that teens do not cause harm to a neighborhood that they feel a part of.

“While Rutten and DuBeau observe the court, they do not intervene as the teens hear arguments and pass sentences.

“Kids are doing sentencing; they understand the motivation of why kids did something. They understand kids’ thoughts and action.”
[…]
Teenagers volunteering for the court said they like being in charge, and they take it seriously.”
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If parents with young children want to know ahead of time how to raise them safe from drugs and strong enough to resist peer pressure, they might start with examining their own values - or lack of them. If parents want their kids in good boarding schools and not names on the rosters of boarding schools for troubled teens, they’d best provide them with the ammunition that they need and there isn’t a more dependable defense against teen drug abuse than a belief system built on strong principles.

“Having a clearly defined Belief System for your home helps everyone know how to act, where the “line” is so they know when they step over it, and what consequences to expect. Teenagers can learn from established rules and consequences, but generally get frustrated from rules and consequences that seem arbitrary or inconsistent.

Why is this so important? Because teens are prone to test their parents in every possible way. It is part of their built-in and growing need for independence, and they need to exercise their own free will. This is why parents need to take time to establish a clearly defined Belief System before their children enter the adolescent years. Doing so will go a long way toward avoiding parenting chaos and helping your teen eventually establish similar beliefs for himself.”

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Many out-of-control teenagers end up in schools for troubled teens because they have no will or mind of their own. Sounds harsh, but a teen who gives into peer pressure does so because they have allowed someone else to more power over them than they do over themselves.

But how do you raise a teen to be independent and strong? Why are some teens imbued with a sense of who they are and a healthy portion of self-respect and some teens seem to be clay in whatever hands can mold them?

It is a very tricky task to raise a strong willed teen but it can be done.

“One mistake parents make is giving children too much independence when they’re not mature enough to handle it.

“Teens need limits and structure, and they also need to know that they are loved,” he says. “Even though my teenage patients sometimes think it’s weird, I tell them to ask advice from their parents, not their peers, adding, ‘Your mom won’t lead you astray.’”

He’s bothered by parents who assume “If everybody’s doing it, it’s okay. Parents should not automatically accept their teen’s answers to their concerns – for example, the significance of a bracelet or armband – but should question everything.”

“I define peer pressure to my patients as ‘what I think they think I am,’ and ask them, ‘Do you want to be a slave to all your friends?’” he says.

He finds that teenage girls, especially, look for their self-esteem in others. “Instead they should believe in themselves, accept themselves with all their mistakes and successes.”

(source)

Related: Troubled Teens and Peer Pressure

Teen age drug abuse is not a simple straight forward proposition. A myriad of factors can contribute to teens at risk saying yes to drugs. Very often divorce is the galvanizing factor in a teen’s descent into addiction.

“Hull said she was depressed “about anything and everything.” She was dealing with stress from her broken family and hadn’t gotten over the death of a childhood friend. She also bounced around, sometimes living with her dad, and then her mom, and then her boyfriend’s parents’ house.”

Combined with peer pressure, a culture that, more and more, tacitly accepts drug abuse and the unfortunate ease with which teens can secure prescription drugs, it is very easy for a disturbed teen to succumb to the constant temptation to do drugs.

“She also thinks she did drugs “just for the lifestyle I guess.”

“I wanted to be the life of the party,” she said. “I liked it when I could get drugs for people.”

In school, she would see other teens pass drugs to each other under the table or in between a piece of paper to make it look like a note. At one point, she said, she took some of her dad’s pain pills without him knowing, but it made her sick.”

Parents in the midst of divorce are often to caught up in their own drama to see how deeply affected their troubled teenagers might be. Never assume your teen is impervious to the lure of drugs.

He was surprised when his daughter got caught up in “bad choices.”

“I didn’t think she’d go that route because of her gifts and talents and what she could do…”

(Source)

Schools for troubled teens do not represent a last option or a desperate choice. Quite the opposite, given prescription drug abuse, meth labs, binge drinking, internet addiction and a whole host of other obstacles a teen must run, if that teen demonstrates behavior that indicates he is likely to stumble, a military boarding school or specialty school can assure that the teen at risk will finish the race.

“Youth need programs designed not to punish, but to heal and equip them to be valued by, and to value, themselves, their families, and others. The Helping Disciplines incorporated in the Tipton Academy include but are not limited to “Animal Assistance”, “Structure”, “Positive Peer Culture”, “Cognitive Self Change”, and an “Individualized Educational Program”. These disciplines are widely recognized as some of the most successful difference makers for troubled teens and adults.”

Each program listed above equips the teens with the tools that he will need to thwart peer pressure, succeed academically, manage emotions and chart a course for the future.

Cognitive Self Change is a prime example.

“This discipline is remarkably distinct in that it teaches how to dramatically alter one’s belief that he is the victim of his own feelings and circumstances. In this discipline, excuses are not accepted. Change takes place when a person makes a conscious decision to think differently about himself and the world in which he exists. The program is an integrated, cognitive behavior change program for youth which includes cognitive restructuring, social skills development, and development of problem-solving skills. It is presented in the format of a small group setting (PPC groups).”

Tipton Academy for Boys

Teen age drug abuse is ultimately fought successfully by only one person and that is the teen himself. The teen who chooses to go against peer pressure is one who will benefit greatly for the training and discipline necessary to fight “group think”.

I asked my teenage son if he was ridiculed much during his high school days when he refused to get high. He claims that, handled correctly, that no one makes a big deal about it. You just have to be able to stand your ground and then blow the subject off as unimportant.
“Peer pressure can go the other way too. If you treat drugs as a boring waste of time , that get’s attention too. My trick was more than saying no - it was to make them think I had something better to do and that I was cooler for it.”

Health24.com has some easy responses that your teen can give when asked to partake in “getting high”.

• Thanks, but no thanks and it’s not up for discussion.
• My parents always have ways of finding out these things and then you’ll be in trouble too.
• No, I’m saving all my money to buy a motorbike.
• No, I’m really not into that stuff.
• No thanks, I tried it once, hated it and threw up all over the couch.
• No thanks, I need all the brains I’ve got.
• No thanks, I know someone who died from that stuff and I couldn’t do it to my parents.
• No thanks. I’ve heard it takes one’s sex drive away.
• No thanks, doing illegal stuff just doesn’t turn me on.
• My life’s difficult enough without having to deal with this added hassle.

There are probably many times when a teen ends up in a compromising situation that they never had any intention of becoming involved in. They think they are just going to hang with their buds at the park or mall and then the teen driver diverts everyone to a party he got word of. If your teenager is the only one in the car who doesn’t want to attend they will be under incredible peer pressure to keep their objections to themselves.

The less exposure a teen has to drugs the less chance of teen age drug abuse. Wouldn’t it be better if your teen could ease himself out of the situation by making a quick phone call that guarantees a cab ride home?

Another scenario is the date gone bad. Where does your teen daughter go if the date she is on becomes uncomfortable or threatening. What if her date gets stoned or drunk? If she has to get out of the car or leave a party, how will she get home?

There is a nationwide service that addresses those concerns and it seems a simple solution.

“For parents, SafeCar means not having emergency cab fare saved or spent elsewhere. When a cab ride “feels free,” parents help students who are unable or unwilling to spend their own money on a taxi (a big issue). Load as much or as little as you like. Reload as you go.

SafeCar’s network of over 40,000 local taxicabs across the country means that we can get you home from virtually any location. Plus, we work with the best partners in every area so you don’t have to ride in a random taxi.”

SafeCarServices

They offer a free 30 day trial and with prom season around the corner, it might be worth testing. The above link will tell you more. Let us know what your experience is if you try it.

With the immense peer pressure endured by teenagers combined with a culture that has come to depict drug abuse and out of control behavior as glamorous, what good do mere words from parents have on the impressionable young children and troubled teens in their care?

Plenty. More than you know, trust me. This was brought home to me in one incident that I can recall from my teenager’s life. I had casually cautioned him that no matter how much he admired his friends, friends could lead him astray simply because they were operating with faulty information. The topic that produced this mundane bit of advice was around the subject of drug abuse and the “latest research” that suggested marijuana had no long lasting detrimental effects on a teen’s development. The particular purveyor of this faulty information was, at the time, a star athlete and top student who was just beginning to dabble in drugs and purported to have all of the latest info.

I advised my son that to be a good friend, perhaps he should take the time to research this on his own. His friend’s info turned out to be sourced from a popular counter culture magazine that omitted all research contradicting his assertions.

My son later confided that because of that one seemingly inconsequential conversation, he rejected any future efforts by his peer group to experiment with drugs. He did the research and learned that even the brightest and most admirable of his buddies could be dead wrong.

So, yes, please do talk with your kids about drug and alcohol abuse. They may spurn your attempts and it may seem that they didn’t hear a word, but, trust me, they are listening .
Talk With Kids is a highly informative site that helps parents conduct these conversations with their young pre-teens and troubled teens. Visit, bookmark it ,and use it.