Troubled Teens Resources

Before there was the Internet, Ipods and video games, when television was limited to three broadcast channels and it was safe to send your kids out “to play” for the day, we didn’t seem to hear all that much about Attention Deficit Disorders. Usually an adolescent came home too exhausted from playing ball, riding bikes and roaming the countryside to exhibit any untoward symptoms of hyper activity and cantankerous behavior.

A new study cited by Psychology Today seems to suggest that the great outdoors may be the crisis intervention needed today for teens and children diagnosed with ADD.

“For the 7 percent of American kids who suffer from attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), relief may come in the form of green fields, leafy trees and open sky.”

The studies adds strength to previous findings that indicated ADD kids improved when exposed to some “green time”.

“The study builds on the lab’s previous finding that adding grass and trees to the grounds of public housing developments is linked to fewer reports of domestic violence and stronger neighborhood ties.”

All parents of ADD teens long for any solution but drugs to “cure” the problem. That the rise of ADD coincides with the attenuated time a youth is outdoors is a correlation that needs even more study. Hard as it may be to do, a parent that can give their teens some “green time” may find the payoff to be a more peaceful and attentive teen and there could be no more benign intervention than fresh air, blue skies, and the broad, green earth.

A friend told of the deep grief that her young son endured during a one week period in which he lost both a very close uncle and his first, childhood sweetheart.

The young boy’s sorrow knew no bounds. He barely stopped crying for days. When relatives at the Uncle’s funeral offered to take him away for the week-end to “take his mind off it”, his mother explained that this was a chapter in his life that, though painful to endure, had to be walked through, had be written, and that it would be best if he wrote it with eyes and heart wide open, surrounded by those who could share it with him.

The Power of Narrative

She had in mind the pain she had endured at her father’s death. She hadn’t anyone to talk to or guide her - she had no narrative to help her understand dying. She remembers “shutting down” and claims that such dissociation or detachment became a life long habit that crippled her emotionally for life.

One of the greatest impediments for a parent dealing with a drug abusing or out of control teenager is the inability to clearly communicate. If a child learns early to speak the narrative of their life, they come to learn a sense of time and process - to understand the beginning-middle-end that all of the events in their life is composed of.

The grieving young boy is now a father and husband and his greatest charisma is his ability to fully experience and express his life and his deeply felt interest in the stories of those around him.

It could be said that the ability of a teen to understand the story of their life, the more that they value that story and the more they want to be the “author” of it, the less likely it is that that the at-risk teen will add a chapter on doing drugs.

Communication Guidelines

Psychology Today offers some basic communication guidelines for talking with your kids.

• Start early. Listen to your child when he is very young. If he learns as a child that you will drop everything and listen, he will continue to talk as he grows up.
• Make yourself available—even if it’s inconvenient for you. Children may want to talk at the end of the day when you’re exhausted, but don’t miss the chance to communicate.
• Don’t judge. A child will become defensive when he feels he is being judged. That’s when communication stops.
• Refrain from interrupting your child; let her talk even when you don’t want to hear what she has to say.
• If you ask a question, begin with the words like “tell me” or “how.” This encourages a child to be specific and lessens the chance of her shutting down.
• Don’t get emotional; remain calm. If you have something to say, think beforehand.
• If your child tells you something shocking, don’t show it. Otherwise, she will stop talking for good.
• Engage in activities together. Take a walk, run or go to the gym together. Or try a trip to the museum or cultural center.
• Try a new restaurant and perhaps a new type of food. New experiences will help inspire discussion of all types.
• Eat dinner together. Children who sit down at the family dinner table three to five times a week are less likely to smoke, drink, and take drugs than kids who dine on their own. They also have better grades and fewer emotional problems.

(source)

Teen crisis Intervention has become an accepted mode for seeking help in the life of a loved one who refuses to or is incapable of abandoning an addiction. Be it teenager or an adult, intervention is usually the last desperate measure a family can exercise before abandoning the addict to their own self destruction. An article about crisis interventions at Psychology Today explains that an addict can easily live with his own disintegration and will deny that it has any ramifications or ill affects on those around them.

After all, one doesn’t descend into addiction if he or she values their life and rationalizing the effect on one’s behavior is part and parcel of the addict’s profile. How often does one hear from such a troubled teen that it is “My life and I’ll do what I damn well please. I ain’t hurting no one.”

“Strong defenses and a sense of denial are hallmarks of the substance abuser’s psychology. “Addicts don’t deny that they’re using,” says Bob Poznanovich, CEO of Addiction Intervention Resources, a Minnesota-based company that, for a hefty fee, specializes in arranging interventions. “They deny that it’s hurting others.”

That’s why an intervention can be more effective than a one-on-one conversation: The addict is caught off guard and emotionally disarmed. Everyone he cares about explicitly spells out how they’ve been hurt. While expressing love and concern, the interveners also outline concrete repercussions should he refuse treatment.

“Pain and consequences are motivators for an addict,” says Poznanovich. “You’d think jail and homelessness would be, but they’re not, especially if the addict has been bailed out of bad situations again and again.” And because the logistical details of entering rehab are set, the addict can easily surrender and allow others to take care of him.”

Crisis interventions may or nor may not succeed in detouring the addict from his addictions and as often as they can heal a family, they can also hasten the inevitable disintegration of family bonds that the addicts choices would have brought about anyway.

“But interventions are emotional powder kegs that can go horribly wrong. “There are cases when a person is never seen again and where families are broken up,” says Alan Marlatt, professor of psychology at the University of Washington. “It can make them want to drink more.”

Bruce Cotter, author of the book When They Won’t Quit, became disenchanted with the technique after leading many interventions. “I walked into a lot of volatile situations,” he says, recalling an incident in which a father lunged at his heroin-addicted son. “I began to see a contradiction: You have half a dozen people telling you, ‘I love you with all my heart, but you’re a no-good SOB’ It can be humiliating and degrading for the person, who is, after all, sick.”

Careful consultation with therapists and family is necessary before considering a crisis intervention, even if it seems to be the only avenue left to save a loved one’s life.