Troubled Teens Resources

When something becomes commonplace, does it all of a sudden become harmless? It is amazing how often you will read that phrase “it’s become common” - about teen drug abuse, drinking, and sex. And it is said as if to say, “Oh well, cats out of the bag now. Nothing we can do.”

And perhaps that is why there will always be a need for schools for troubled teens. As long as parents and teachers and the culture see the outrageous as common, and therefore acceptable, self-destructive behavior will continue to escalate, in all of it’s many manifestations.

Sorry to rant but this article on self-mutilation has, seemingly, the same attitude.

“The self-injury club for teens is not all that exclusive. Joining can almost seem trendy.

“There’s an incredible amount of kids who deal with these issues,” says a 16-year-old high school junior who knows all about membership.

“Cutting is definitely the most popular. I did some of that, but that wasn’t my preference,” she explains. Instead, she usually engaged in bruising herself, sometimes banging her wrist against hard objects. Or, she scraped herself. She says she no longer hurts herself.
[…]
Exactly how much self-injury has increased is not known, but most researchers believe it has grown, along with a kind of acceptance.

“It does seem like it’s something that people don’t frown on quite as much,” says Lloyd-Richardson. Since her report was published, she has heard from many young adults who said cutting was common in their high schools.”
(source)

Schools for troubled teens that deal with emotionally abused teen girls are very familiar with the phenomenon of self-mutilation or “cutting”. Often it is the only way extremely troubled teens can deal with overwhelming emotions but it is extremely frightening for parents who can not comprehend why their child would choose to harm themselves.

“Self-injury is not really about inflicting physical pain as much as it is about escape from emotional pain. The emotional pain and physical tension of an unhappy adolescent can be relentless. By causing physical pain, an adolescent can reduce the level of emotional and physiological distress to a bearable level. Minor physical pain, such as pulling their hair, provides a distraction from their feelings. This can progress to scratching, picking at sores, cutting or burning.”

Self-cutting could be a cry for help,a symbol of emotional trauma too big for the teen to comprehend or articulate. Some reports associate sexual abuse with a teen’s need to cut themselves.

“Adolescents who self-injure usually have underlying problems. There is a strong relationship between self-harm and sexual abuse before 13 years of age.”

In some instance, self-injury indicates that the teen feels an overwhelming desire to punish themselves for their perceived failures.

“Those who are sensitive and insecure may come to believe they are failures. Self-injury is reinforced when an adolescent believes they should be punished and their self-injury results in emotional relief. An adolescent may punish him- or herself for many reasons.”

(Source)

“Geesh, they act like self-mutilation is something new.”

I looked over at my neighbor and friend, Pat, rather surprised by this comment. We both have at-risk teenagers that we are very concerned about, but this topic had never come up.

“Well, it may not be new,” I responded, “but I’m sure it was pretty rare when we we’re teenagers.”
Looking more distraught by the moment, Pat finally blurted out that it wasn’t as rare as I might think.
” I did it.”
“Did it - did what? Hurt yourself?”
Heaving a deep sigh, Pat gave me what, I guess, amounted to a confession of sorts.
“Yes, yes - I did it. You know I was a stupid hippie, and well- I was busted for dealing and I ended up in a psych ward and I used to take safety pins, or anything that could hurt and just basically poke and gouge myself - anything that would give me pain.”

I sat back rather surprised. I knew about Pat’s background and knew she carried a lot of guilt,thinking her addictive personality had somehow contributed to her teenage daughter Karen’s present struggle with drug abuse.

In fact,that is why we met today - to share our research about boarding schools and teen treatment programs. While her troubled teenage daughter had been caught with some prescription drugs she had bought from friends,my own teenage son was slinking around the house, perpetually angry, sleepy and out of sorts. I had just discovered a pipe and other paraphernalia in his room that he claimed he was just keeping for a friend. Yeah, right. Some friend.

Both of us had decided we were not going to wait for incident after incident of out-of-control behavior from our troubled teens but bite the bullet now. We were determined to educate ourselves on all of the teen treatment programs, boarding schools and boot camps that we could find. We were blessed to be able to afford them and had decided preemptive actions could save us and our out-of-control teens a great deal of heartache down the road.

Pat continued speaking softly. “I saw some cigarette burns on Karen’s ankles. Guess she thinks I never see her barefoot, but i was just watching her sleep the other night when I noticed… she is just like me - god forgive me.”

I sighed and reached across the table to grab her hand.

“Feeling guilty is not going to help you or Karen right now. You have always been a good mother no matter how crazy you were at her age. Now let’s just go over these boarding school materials. We are on the right track.”

We had found some excellent teen treatment programs that not only addressed issues of self-esteem but also on building a troubled teen’s sense of responsibility and accountability by giving them charge over a foundling dog - some even had equine therapy programs.

It is important that parents not let their own guilt cloud their judgment regarding their out-of-control teen. And it also wise to not wait until something tragic and life altering happens before exploring the boarding school and teen treatment programs available today.

Start educating yourself now.

Reviewing the comprehensive teen treatment programs at Tipton Academy for Boys and Meadow lark Academy for girls is a good place to start.