Troubled Teens Resources

Many out-of-control teenagers end up in schools for troubled teens because they have no will or mind of their own. Sounds harsh, but a teen who gives into peer pressure does so because they have allowed someone else to more power over them than they do over themselves.

But how do you raise a teen to be independent and strong? Why are some teens imbued with a sense of who they are and a healthy portion of self-respect and some teens seem to be clay in whatever hands can mold them?

It is a very tricky task to raise a strong willed teen but it can be done.

“One mistake parents make is giving children too much independence when they’re not mature enough to handle it.

“Teens need limits and structure, and they also need to know that they are loved,” he says. “Even though my teenage patients sometimes think it’s weird, I tell them to ask advice from their parents, not their peers, adding, ‘Your mom won’t lead you astray.’”

He’s bothered by parents who assume “If everybody’s doing it, it’s okay. Parents should not automatically accept their teen’s answers to their concerns – for example, the significance of a bracelet or armband – but should question everything.”

“I define peer pressure to my patients as ‘what I think they think I am,’ and ask them, ‘Do you want to be a slave to all your friends?’” he says.

He finds that teenage girls, especially, look for their self-esteem in others. “Instead they should believe in themselves, accept themselves with all their mistakes and successes.”

(source)

Related: Troubled Teens and Peer Pressure

When you read the description of a child or teen labeled with Oppositional Defiant Disorder you think it is inevitable that those teens will end up in schools for troubled teens. They are described as negative, aggressively hostile, strong-willed, spiteful, forward….well, you get the idea, these troubled teens are supposed to be train wrecks.

So you have to ask yourself - what track did these trains wreck on before there were shrinks to label the wrecks.

An interesting post suggests that parents ought to think twice before boarding the “label” train. It could be what you break won’t be ODD, but a strong spirit.

“Let’s face it, kids are tough. Kids push the line every chance they get. They have incredibly strong wills. Why? Because they want it to be their way.

Personally, I want my son to be strong willed because that means his will be independent. He won’t be easily swayed by every passing fad. I don’t want to break him of it, I want to show him the limits.

I am not saying that there are no kids who legitimately have these syndromes, but I can’t help but think that many parents look for labels to put on their kids. Our children shouldn’t be perfectly obedient, malleable little clay people. They are going to question and push the limits. They are going to act up when they are bored, tired, and over or under stimulated. They are kids! We have to be parents.

If we refuse to be parents and enforce our strong wills on our children, we can expect “problem children”.

(Source)