Troubled Teens Resources

“Why does she want to dress like that? I don’t get it. She’s beautiful, she doesn’t have to parade around like some half naked celebrity.”

Well, yes she does if she listens to no one but her peer group and the media. If your teenage daughter seems to have acquired a taste for exhibitionism such as the parent is complaining about above, then you are among the millions of parents trying to rein in their teen girl’s fixation with dressing “sexy”.

With a culture fixated on the sexual antics of Paris Hilton and the tawdry objectification of young girls produced by Girls Gone Wild, parents of young teenage girls are compelled to create and maintain standards of simple modesty for their own teenage girls.

But everyone knows sexy sells. How can you encourage your teen daughters to see that they have more than sex to sell? How can your sales pitch overcome the message teenagers constantly are exposed to?

Self-image for both young men and women is key to the teenager’s comporting themselves with some dignity and pride. But the image needs to based on their gifts and skills and abilities, not their looks. It’s hard to fight against the avalanche of media images unless you can help a troubled teen girl find pride in her accomplishments and reward her, not for being pretty, but for being confident, for being smart or artistic or a great athlete.

The sexualiztion of adolescents has prompted thousands of parents to place their teen daughters in same sex teen boarding schools which emphasize achievements, not appearance, providing the maturing teen girl with a solid basis for her self-esteem instead of the fickle “fame” of fashion and looks.

You let the appearance of the first tattoo slide. You think it is probably the influence of your teenage daughter’s new boyfriend. You feel like you’re walking on eggs around her, so you haven’t mentioned that you thoroughly dislike this young man. He has the same tattoo on his forearm and you are sure that that is a bad sign. It reminds you of a brand of ownership. And that is what your daughter acts like - she acts like this new boy owns her. And then there is the rough treatment that you’ve witnessed. What is it all adding up to? Could your daughter possibly be involved in a gang and what is the best method of intervention if she is?

If your teenager is lonely or has always been unpopular in school, if your at-risk teen is angry and accusatory, blaming the world for their every ill, they are prime candidates for the seduction of belonging in a gang. Intervention is necessary early on to prevent the developing ties of loyalty and identity from becoming an unbreakable bond.

Here are some factors that contribute to a troubled teen’s attraction to gang life.

• Racism: When young people encounter both personal and institutional racism (i.e., systematic denial of privileges), the risks are increased. When groups of people are denied access to power, privileges, and resources, they will often form their own anti-establishment group.
• Poverty: A sense of hopelessness can result from being unable to purchase wanted goods and services. Young people living in poverty may find it difficult to meet basic physical and psychological needs which can lead to a lack of self-worth and pride. One way to earn cash is to join a gang involved in the drug trade.
• Lack of a support network: Gang members often come from homes where they feel alienated or neglected. They may turn to gangs when their needs for love are not being met at home. Risks increase when the community fails to provide sufficient youth programs or alternatives to violence.
• Media influences: Television, movies, radio, and music all have profound effects on youth development. Before youth have established their own value systems and are able to make moral judgments, the media promotes drugs, sex, and violence as an acceptable lifestyle.

from Why Do Young People Join Gangs?

A parent must seek intervention if they suspect that their at-risk teen is flirting with the idea of joining a gang. Without early intervention, the teen quickly assigns all of their loyalty to this destructive force and it becomes more difficult to break the bonds the longer the affiliation is continued. The link above will guide parents towards the appropriate steps towards intervention.